Nice to know that we at Farkleberries are at the vanguard of coolness: months after this post appeared, Gizmodo "discovers" Kohler's Jo the Plumber interactive I-dare-you-to-flush-this site.

Although, I must say, some of the comments there had me laughing far too hard. ;)

"Sure, the one time you might want to see some plumber's crack, and she's wearing belted high-waisted pants. Is there no justice in this universe?"

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Pinching loaves? I prefer a euphemism of that euphemism to make it sound even more sterile and cryptic. "Hey, I'll be right back, I'm gonna go steal some bread. And stink up your bathroom." My old favorite was always "taking a deuce".

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So why is it perfectly normal to flush a bra and some dog food down the toilet, but 'silly' to flush some flowers. Jo's hot, but she's on crack.

A short time ago I did a Google search using the name of the band I fronted in college back in upstate New York: "Balcony of Ignorance". What can I say? Idle curiosity and boredom (plus access to the internet) can lead you down some strange paths.

Not surprisingly, there weren't many hits; in fact, there were only two. One of them was this blog, and the other was a website written completely in Russian, with a few exceptions: the quotes "Balcony of Ignorance" and "Museum of Corruption". That's when it got really intriguing.

It's a long stroll down punchline path, but stay with me . . . . .

Balcony of Ignorance was our college band name. Museum of Corruption was the name of another band, and later a music/literary 'zine by my fellow bandmate Carson (I went by the name of Perry Neal -- that's a joke, ask someone in the medical profession what it means -- and Carson went by the name Patty O'Furniture). Anyways, this Russian website appears to be an interview of the various bandmembers of Brooklyn-based heavymetal/punk/rapcore group Biohazard. Could it be that one of our two "homemade" cassettes are still floating around out there? We were together for only about two years, and only played on two public occasions -- the German Club in Burlington, VT, and live on Plattsburgh State University's PSTV college television station. Some of us graduated, and in short order, we all pretty much scattered to the four winds.

I eventually found the Myspace page of the Biohazard bandmember making the quote (the particulars of which I still don't know, as the text is all in the Cyrillic alphabet, and Altavista translations can only offer so much). I wrote to him, and it turns out that, yes, he heard us/saw us/listened to us back in the day. In some small way, we offered an inspiration/influence of some sort. And I'd like to emphasize the word "small" in my observations and remarks, as there's no comparison between the weekend musical diversions of four college students who described their music both as "the sound of things falling apart" and "ranging from migraine blues to epileptic polka" and the accomplishments of a band that has actually toured the world, sold countless albums, and have made a career in the music industry.

But still. How freakin' cool is that?

By the way, a week later, I found yet another link: click on the photo below to see what Sound Choice magazine really thought of Balcony of Ignorance.

Ouch.

Honestly, it was sheer curiosity that made me open the obvious spam email with links to great bargains for Cyialis and Viagra . . .

but, once there, I took a closer look at the text they used to spike the message in order to get past the filters. Maybe I see art in the strangest places, but after cleaning up the punctuation, I thought this was a pretty good read:

what
just about to scream 'jack!'
when something went splash into the tub
at the spare him a minute

come, arch, we must be off, or
these boys will miss their upon the stick
that supported it

what
"they needn't see or speak to anyone, but run in"
yes, dear: my honored father
at first, but as i went along i kept thinking what i could do,
and feeling as at first, but as i went along
i kept thinking what i could do,

and feeling as studying plato,
and doubling the beauty of a flower,
than in selling principles
the broken manuel whispered,
"i see the curtain move"
now comes the outline of a his heart,
not only by the friendly words she said
and the pleasant things she

you, you are,
you're a great
the boy's compound fractures,
and the poor little girl
had a very bad quarter matter now?

young tramp been stealing your chickens?
"no, dear, not you. it's amy."

surprise and pride as he came in
full of boyish satisfaction in his trim array
find will hardly seem to them worthy of their precious daughter
let her remain come along too,
and all be happy together

what do you think of that?
he asked, is absent template
it is a forty days job, young man,
and delightful woman
looking at her with that new interest in his eyes

polly's flirting back to tell the good news,
and amy looked both touched and surprised
christie went to her new home.
warm rains had melted the last trace

there was a general laugh at his speech,
and rough in his manner
and what else could be expected
yankees are a deal the most tricky,
everybody but charlie

bare and shabby,
robbed of the vines
that in summer covered its walls
a wayward will misleads, singer.

it was me.
he doesn't like to hear me play.
porch playing with josephus and belinda,
and discussing the events

in search of him
he was not far away,
sitting just as he used to
kindness

every room in the big house was soon full
every little
go there

lita went back the way she had come,
as ben could see
by the not mean to tell,
but his frankness was so agreeable
she forgot herself.
she went on scraping her saucepans,
while molly returned to her work

i scolded him
he needs someone to look after him
when frank is not herself
could not help smiling
as she watched them.
steve was superb,
and nothing could comfort her.
nan dosed in vain,
daisy's cheerful words went
institution had not yet made
its rules as fixed
as the laws of the medes
but it seemed as if i was all voice,
for i let myself go,
trying to forget